romance

Romance:

Facts of all kinds streamed from Matt’s mouth. Years of accumulating bits of
information about Lower Manhattan were suddenly at his fingertips. He wasn’t
trying to show off, but neither did he hold back his sudden gush of encyclopedic
knowledge. He was powered by the sheer delight of Carol’s company. The morning
was turning out to be perfect. So perfect, he didn’t even think to worry about the
Fates and their cruel sense of humor.
At the South Street Seaport, they walked out onto the open pier, where carefully
restored tall-masted ships were docked broadside for public viewing. With a clear
blue sky, an ocean breeze tickling his face, and Carol by his side, Matt felt inoculated
from the plague of fears that had afflicted him. He watched her flaxen hair lift in the
wind, and took pleasure in her wide eyes, gleaning the majesty of the classic sailing
ships.
Carol turned to him. “How did you avoid the war?”
What brought this on? The war ships? The connecting oceans? “My college
deferment ended while I was out West. At first, the military bureaucracy lost track
of me. Then they just gave up on me.”
“That simple?”
“Yeah. Nothing brave or extraordinary.”
“Why did you come back?’
“I missed New York. I feel connected here. I went out there for nature, but I
feel more natural here.” Nice play on words, asshole. You just talked your way
out of an invite to Idaho. Matt finished with a rambling, “What can I say?”
“You tried it and you didn’t like it.”
Apparently, it didn’t matter to her if he ever again left New York. It wasn’t by
accident that Matt emphasized the past tense. “I guess, at the time, I had needed a
certain amount of noise in my life.”
“All your friends and family are here.”
“My family, yeah. And I know a lot of people. But no close friends.” Don’t say
it! Why? It’s the truth. “Robert was close.” Matt hoped his mention of her brother
hadn’t upset her.
There was no hint it had as she went on to pose another question, an even more
personal one. “What’s your relationship with Traci?”
She heard us in bed that night. Matt felt his Adam’s apple stiffen like an
erection. He didn’t want to discuss Traci, but the subject matter was pertinent enough
to fall under his promise to tell Carol the truth. “She’s an art director. . . an
acquaintance.” She heard Traci scream! “We’re not exclusive or anything.”
He suspected Carol was teasing him when she slowly repeated the words, “Not
exclusive.”
His face turned beet red. “That’s a dumb way to put it.”
“The meaning’s clear.”
He wanted to get off the topic of Traci, but not stray from the intimate
conversation Carol had initiated. “Stay here longer.” His words fell short of what he
wanted to say. Nonetheless, he felt exposed by the earnest delivery.
“Come visit me in Idaho.”
There they were, those long-awaited five little words that now filled Matt’s
heart with exhilaration. He gave her a big smile. “I’d like that.”
He struggled with the impulse to take her hand. You got your invitation. Don’t
push it. Matt would’ve talked himself out of holding her hand if she hadn’t first
taken his. The touch of her soft fingers sliding across his palm warmed his body, and
when she smiled at him, he was launched into orbit around her starry blue eyes.
They walked hand in hand, leaving the wooden pier and old boats behind. Matt
was content to let their enfolded fingers do all the talking between them. Weightless
in the light air of happiness, he pondered why he felt the way he did and sensed no
embarrassment when true love seemed the answer.
As they strolled south along the East River, Matt examined his passion for
Carol. She was beautiful to look at, but so were many of the women he knew and
dated. Perhaps, she simply showed up at the right time when he was serious about
settling down. Or maybe, during this troubled period, she was an idealized escape.
Would she be as vital to him if the times weren’t so perilous? That’s enough! Don’t
belittle what Carol means to me.
Matt dug for the roots of this invasive negativity and unearthed the conclusion
they were the residue of recent events. He tried to convince himself everything was
on the mend. He’d been forced to do what he did and had taken care of every detail
connecting him to Jimmy’s murder. What about Lucy? What about Lou? There’s
no chance this will just go away. You’re in serious trouble, Matt!

h ome